24: Jack Bauer Must Die

Sorry Jack. Much like you said in last night's episode, I just can't do this anymore.

As I said in my previous post, suspense of disbelief is fine.  It's just a TV show, right? Right! If the TV show makes up it's own rules of "reality" that's par for the course. Of course I get that, I'm a huge Sci-Fi and Fantasy buff. From the worlds of Radagast and Raistlin to those of Lando Calrissian and the Durass Sisters, everything would fall apart without permitting each world its own unique set of rules that govern everything from physics to society. But when a story-world breaks canon by ignoring its own rules, that's sloppy writing. When it does it frequently, it's inexcusable.

<SPOILER WARNING>

Sunday night in the world of CTU there was an abundance of Satellite coverage, including a bonus satellite that Morris has access to. Roughly an hour later, Bauer-time, it is apparently common knowledge that satellite coverage is nearly impossible to come by and has been for some time due to the terror situation.

Strike One.

Numair, a prisoner in the "Palmdale Detention Facility", is the only person Fayed has access to that can make the Russian suitcase nuke functional. Fayed orchestrates a series of terror attacks like never-before-seen just to free Numair. He also apparently bought off one of the guards at the base — so it would seem the highly complicated series of attacks was entirely unnecessary, but I'll graciously ignore that.  In a show that "happens in real time" Numair makes it from the bathroom of a bus near Palmdale, California to a warehouse in Valencia in 9 minutes, Bauer time.  The two cities are 48 miles apart.

Strike Two.

When they finally get satellite coverage, CTU makes it clear that no one has entered or left the warehouse. Yet somehow Fayed is safely away from the warehouse when the bomb goes off, driving a car that is apparently invisible to satellite imagery.

Strike Three.

But let's say we give them an extra pitch. A mulligan, if you will. It was made absolutely clear that only one single Russian suitcase nuke is unaccounted for. Fayed made it quite clear he desperately needed Numair to make that nuke work. Numair makes it work and is vaporized in the ensuing nuclear detonation. Fayed apparently has four additional suitcase nukes that are fully functional. Would you like to know how? Lean closer, I will tell you.

They were handed to him by a lazy writing team who couldn't be bothered to keep to the lowest writing standards of daytime soaps.

That's it, I'm done. Sorry Jack — and I really am sorry Kiefer, I've always enjoyed your character, you've done a phenomenal job over these past 5 years and counting — but I'm boycotting this show. This is the latest in a long line of examples of just plain horrible writing, and I'm not going to take it anymore. There are plenty of great shows and between Heroes and The Office on NBC, Battlestar Galactica on SciFi, Grey's Anatomy on ABC and Veronica Mars on The CW (or whatever it is now) I won't miss it. I don't need to be insulted by the writing staff over at Fox. Heck, even LOST and Smallville are still hanging in there despite being on my "ehhh…." list. They Didn't contradict their own storylines blatantly, repeatedly and in reference to rules that had just become canon the previous episode.

So Good bye Jack. May your next death bring you peace. I'm sorry I won't be there to see it.

- one